Funny one liners status for facebook whatsapp

Funny one liners status for facebook whatsapp

I`m great at remembering names. I just don`t remember which one`s yours.

There`s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.

If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.

Theres a light at every end of a tunnel just pray its not a train..

I have no desire for money. It`s stuff that I want.

I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others..

Yeah, you look alright...from a distance...at night...behind a wall..

They keep saying the right person will come along I think a truck hit mine.

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, i`d never be bored again.

Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

When your waiting for one persons text and the whole world decides to text you..

I don`t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept ..

Life`s like a bird..it`s pretty cute until it craps on your head..

My alarm clock is jealous of the relationship I have with my bed..

Looking cute in the mirror but when you take a picture, you think "What the F"

Sometimes you`re the windshield sometimes you`re the bug.

Texting a person in the same room as me, then staring at them until they get it .

Every time i goto the bathroom, i hope the toilet seat isn`t cold.

I don`t break the rules. I merely test their elasticity

Sending texts to your friend next to you things you can`t say out loud.

Staring at a text for fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to respond.

The awkward moment when you buy something and its not made in China..

Best Funny One Liners Status

I can`t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find..

That Awkward Moment when you see a ten year old with a better phone than you.

I Am not lazy, I`m just highly motivated not to do anything.

Gravity... The only thing that can keep me down..

I hate Those Who Steal My Ideas Before I think of them..

Feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket , while it`s in the other room .

Whenever i can`t find something,it just magically appears when my mom looks..

The worst thing about sunday is knowing tomorrow is monday..

Opportunity is not knowing because you have not build the doors yet.

Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining.

Why do we need algebra? Finding X is only useful if you`re a pirate.