very funny relationship quotes

Very funny relationship quotes

Yes, I’m drunk. And you’re beautiful. And tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober but you’ll still be beautiful.

Relationships these days: One male, one female, one ex trying to mess it up & one friend secretly hoping it ends.

I have crossed oceans of time to find you.

Be aware to touch me… you may be victim of Love.

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

There should be a relationship status for 'I don't even know what's going on.

Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

I’m selfish because I will never share you with anyone else.

Relationship Status: Never need to lock my phone.

There should be a relationship status called, currently creeping.

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Loyalty is the strongest glue which makes a relationship last for a life time.

Three things can't be hidden coughing, poverty, and love.

It's better to have loved and lost than to do 40 pounds of laundry a week.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

Relationships don't always make sense. Especially from the outside.

Either love me or leave me alone.

I am in my bed. You are in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

Cheating is easy. Try something more like being faithful.

If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

If anyone asks me “what is hell? I would answer Distance between two people who love each other.

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

When people stay in a horrific relationship with each other instead of breaking up, I'll assume they've killed someone together.

A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.

People put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who loves them enough to break them.

     

Find someone who will change your life, not your Facebook status.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life..

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. But a wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.